3 Steps to Better Communication

Welcome to Heal Talk Tuesdays with Lisa.
Where transformation begins
as we evoke
embrace.
Evolve.
Welcome welcome welcome welcome to Heal Talk Tuesday’s with Lisa.
It’s so good to be here with you
isn’t it.
Today we’re going to be talking about communication.
How we communicate why we communicate
actually what communication is all about.
So and how we can make it better
right?
For those of you who do not know me my name is Liza. I’m your expert hypnotherapist
and stress management consultant
and the name of my business is
HealWithin. That’s exactly why we’re here.
Doing Heal Talk Tuesdays with Lisa.
So thank you for being present and
being here.
Alright let’s talk about why do we communicate
actually what is communicate open communication is.
A dialogue a way that we.
Do.
Have find a language
to communicate to express what we are thinking what we are feeling
to another person
in order to say this is
where I am and
I want to convey the a cave what I feel what I think.
And then
they communicate back so this beautiful bridge I like to call it a bridge.
And in order for do that.
I’m asking you.
Why do you communicate why do we communicate.
So the primary
reasons for communication is three of course
everything about me is in three’s, right?
So number one.
The main thing the most important thing about communication is
we want to feel good.
So so.
I want to feel better.
I want to communicate how I am thinking.
So that
I can feel better about what I’m thinking what I’m feeling
and express
my thoughts and feelings to you
to convey.
The message right.
So when we communicate in a way the way is to express
opinions
to make an impact
to make some changes to happen and
everything we do to communicate
is the result is
for the better, right?
So the better it is.
The better it becomes the happier you become the happier I am.
So that’s the number one reason.
Number two reason we communicate sometimes when
we are angry.
When we are upset
when there is in.
What we call it is there was a miscommunication what I thought.
Is.
Or what was on my mind
me maybe you read it wrong
specially when people text oh my god
texting is one of the
hardest or even email.
It does not convey tonality.
It does not convey as you see body language.
So it is
even the voice is not their.
The the only thing that is conveyed his words and hopefully.
If
we are a good communicator.
We
have better words that we choose.
So
words.
Are truly powerful.
As a clinical hypnotherapist one of the things that we do.
Is.
But I do also
is help my clients understand the impact of words.
So when we say certain words like.
Don’t.
The subconscious mind.
Does not.
Truly
does not compute the word don’t
and ears do.
It’s amazing how it happens
don’t do this.
It only hears
do this.
So.
Be
more cognizant be more aware when you speak.
In when you want to say something or communicates something in shares something
that you want someone to take an action or to understand
or
how will you are expressing.
Always find.
The way you would like them to do something because
it’s always about what moving
towards.
The result.
And if the result is something that you want them to do.
Then speak.
In sharing.
This is what I wanted the results to be.
This is what.
I want to express this is.
This is how.
I want to share
and.
I would like you to stop doing this
I would like you
to make a difference I would like you to
finish this project
and the project needs to be finished
by.
The end of this monde
by the end of this day
and those are my expectations.
Because bottom line in life
communication is.
An expectation with our own perception.
That’s what it is.
So if I have a perception
or I perceive something to be the way I wanted to be
and my expectations are this.
How I communicate.
And how you communicate with someone.
And if your expectations are not met
and then maybe the communication the verbiage.
The tonality
and how you express that.
They.
Did not see how it makes sense for them
and how
they feel good
about the expectations.
And
they did not know know how to communicate back.
So that they feel good
and they have a better result.
You see.
When we are upset.
When.
There’s two people who get into this argument.
That means I’m expressing.
Venting.
Releasing.
My anger because an expectation was not met.
Secondly the argument I’m raising my voice.
To be heard.
You know sometimes when we get into arguments.
The voice gets escalated escalated and escalated so the other person.
They either
cringe.
They will either
crumble
or
they have to raise their voice higher
or they feel like.
They are being downplayed
or told or hovered
and
put down.
So their.
Response
automatic response defensive mechanism comes higher.
And they have to raise their voice.
Thinking
now I can be heard
by raising my voice
to shut
or hover about
on
your voice.
That’s when.
People get into this yelling.
Argument.
Or
the
screaming
banters.
When there is a banter
that means now a whole vessel of.
Ping pong has started.
In when
people started getting better at the pink point means.
I’m going to start.
Bouncing back and back and volley
without even stopping
to hold the ball.
To see where the positioning is
so that I can
restart.
You see the
yelling part of it
the communication.
Underneath anger.
Is what.
Hurt.
I’m hurt.
Because you’re yelling at me.
I’m hurt
because you’re not communicating properly.
You’re.
Giving me the finger of blame.
And when there is a blame automatic the subconscious mind goes into defensive
mechanism.
Either in language the.
Or.
In.
Communicating.
In a more aggressive way.
It is exactly at that very moment.
That one.
Needs to become better and.
Stop for a moment.
And when I see stop a can be just the temporarily pause
and think to yourself
is this helping me feel better
is this helping my.
The the person I’m communicating.
Feel better
and if the intention is
to.
Hurt them.
Then.
Is hurting them making me feel good.
See
bottom line.
Communication
is.
There’s gotta be a better feeling.
The third thing that we do when we are communicating is
truly
the first thing which was creating a result.
What is the results that I want
in a communication
and he can be love it can be lovers it can be
with family members it can be when we are in a therapy session.
When a client comes
and they want.
A change of a habit or a behavior.
My question first and foremost is.
Number one
what is it that you want
what is the result you would like to see.
We are
in
a anxiety.
How bad is your anxiety? How bad
is when you go into this panic what happens to.
Your body what happens to your tonality
when you feel anxious or
you feel that anxiety coming upon you
how you respond.
So if your anxiety level
is add a six or seven.
Right
or at and eight or nine.
I’ve had a.
Client walking in here actually.
Sisters have brought him.
In here
and he his anxiety was
according to him.
At a ten.
Which
is not possible because at a ten they would be having a panic anxiety
almost close to a heart attack.
So when he was here.
I would say.
I sat him though and I said
what if I say your panic and anxiety
if it was at a ten you would not be able to sit here and communicate with me.
So in order for you to feel better
let’s take a moment.
and calm yourself just for a moment to pause and say.
This is a good.
The good is at a number two.
When I have
full control.
And the bad.
You’re at a hospitalization at a ten
that means it’s so.
Bad.
You can’t even sit here
so you must be in and eight.
If you’re and eight if you could pause for just a moment.
Take a moment and say.
Okay I want to feel good
and how good do I want to feel.
So by the end of the session I would like to feel.
At least
six
now we have a measure.
And by communicating this and showing them
it is possible.
That.
You can feel.
A six
and six
is so much better than where you are right now.
Now
the communication is.
Number one.
I’m going to help you feel better.
Number two.
We can.
Help you.
Bright
manage where you are right now
so.
Find in this bridge.
By the tools and techniques I help you
with brass work
with
relaxation
were taking control
and realizing that you’re in sole cognisant
Of way of being in taking control of your mind
of your body.
Your tonality
and instead of hyperventilating
just for a moment.
Beginning to pause
Pause.
And relax.
Now.
That you feel better
let’s see
what was the causation.
So once you have the cause
the result becomes so much better.
Again.
Communication.
No matter what we are communicating.
To make a change
physically mentally and emotionally.
To
find a communication that I want to.
Say.
I care for you.
How about
I love you.
Or communicate
this is not.
The result I expected.
I would like have a better communication
let’s see
what kind of a better result.
That it becomes a win win situation for us.
We can find.
Instead of yelling.
Pointing fingers.
Recognizing
that you can pause for just a moment.
And.
If anger.
Comes from hurt
and if I am hurt that means I’m crying for help.
That means.
The result of I asked for
or I was imagining it
or I was expecting it
my expectations of what I want it.
Is not met.
So.
Let’s come to the playing field.
Let’s start.
You know in the old all the traditional ways.
The apaches the Indians.
They used the tribal way of communication was.
They used.
The
chief.
Would
put his thick.
And place it
so if this
the
the tip
was facing you
as he would spin it.
Then you had the right to speak.
And while you’re speaking.
I hold
my space
and I hold my breath
I hold my.
Word and I am not gonna cut you off.
While you are expressing what you’re thinking and feeling or wanting to share.
And when they were done
then the chief
with take it
and say okay
now you hold.
The tip.
The head
is pointing to the other person
now you have.
All the
opportunities to express
what your
side is
what using.
How you feel.
And then.
Remember.
There’s three sides to everything
your side
your side
and the truth.
And that’s where
the chief was like an arbitrator
like a guide
like a therapist
like a referee or a coach
and say okay you said you said now
let’s see
how we can find
the middle ground where I call it the bridge.
We.
All have the ability to do this
we do.
And every single day
we communicate.
In words we communicate when
we take a text
we.
Dance.
Dancing
is a communication.
It’s a form of communication of how you feel.
May you be and flow.
When you communicate the way you walk your body language communicates.
Like
yesterday I was at a seminar
and great seminar and luncheon.
And.
Sitting what.
Very dear friend of mine next the
next to one another
and just our body language of how happy we are to be together every time.
We are together is it’s like
you know
I’m so happy to be with you I’m so happy to be next to you.
And.
It’s genuine.
And
being genuine.
In expressing.
What you feel what you want to convey.
Be genuine in communicating.
What you are thinking.
And when you are genuine.
Even if you are hurt.
And if your expectations have not been met.
Is
finding the way instead of.
The zap
hurting.
Be mindful.
I have this private group.
On Facebook
it’s called the daily gratitude
by all means let me know if you would like to join.
Every single day
it’s something about Monday’s being mindful.
Tuesday’s it’s Heal Talk Tuesday.
Something that.
It helps you here heal.
When.
You want to do something.
Being mindful.
Taking a moment to pause.
And right before you communicate.
Choose a better words.
That it’s not.
Hurting.
But expressing.
Communicating.
And communicating of what it is that you want instead of what it is that you don’t
want.
Again
the subconscious mind does not understand I don’t want.
So.
This is those were the tips.
Take a moment.
Pause.
Be mindful of your words.
If you are angry
hurt
or
in a.
spiteful
moment.
Take a walk and then come back to the table
and.
Express the things that you.
Were expecting
your expectations expectations were this
and your expectations were not met
let’s find a way
to bridge it,
to communicate or maybe we have to go with to someone
who they can analyze it
or they can
see.
What we cannot see.
We’re not communicating better.
As and.
The
last one is.
You can always
find a way to feel better.
Because that’s what communication is.
What can I do.
To make you feel better.
That we have a better result.
To express.
When I think when I feel
and both are needs
are met.
So hopefully today’s communication.
Today’s session.
Communicated.
that you too can turn around and communicate better.
And always remember
Words are so powerful.
When we hurt
We also want
to feel good and be loved
and appreciated.
So bottom line is how do you communicate with yourself.
And that’s another thing.
For you to be mindful of.
When you communicate.
To yourself that inner dialogue.
Behind your mind.
When you sit.
And think
to yourself.
Are you saying the words.
The gestures
do you get up and dance
to relieve
to vent
to release.
Whatever if it is anger if it is frustration.
So that we can feel better.
Again
the number one rule.
We communicate
to feel better.
First
with yourself.
With your inner self
with your body
and then how we project
outside.
My name
Liza Boubari
I am your expert hypnotherapist
and to make a change.
That’s what I do
I help you make the changes
either.
Emotionally or mentally.
Sometimes more often
physically
where you have not found
the way to do.
Contact me.
Sent me a message.
And you can always go to https://healwithin.com
You can even.
Subscribe right here.
And I look forward
to seeing you next week.
Until then.
God bless
and made a universal light
surround you.
Thank you.
If you wanted to
check out.
Testimonials that.
Right here.
A year ago.