What Defines a Woman?

Welcome to Heal Talk Tuesdays with Liza, where
transformation begins as we evoke, embrace, and evolve.
Greetings greetings greetings and welcome to Heal Talk
Tuesdays with Liza. It’s so good to be here with you, isn’t it?
Today we’re diving into a topic that lights up headlines
and hearts and with a mix of pain, passion, and complexity.
So today’s conversation or my talk may be a little bit of a controversial thing,
and yet it’s something that we’re all talking
about it, and I want to hear from you.
Yes, I do hear, I want to hear what your opinion is.
So if you haven’t heard about this, the UK Supreme Court
just had a ruling on the legal definition of what is a woman.
Hearing the United States were witnessing emotional
debates, especially in the world of sports.
So as I was reading this, I had all these feelings come up and thinking about the
Supreme Court, majority men, making a
decision of what is the definition of a woman.
You know, where I come from, the Middle East, is having such a turmoil about
everything that it’s happening. That’s why a few years ago we started this woman
love acceptance, and we had this rally, especially women who were imprisoned in
Iran, and being from Iran, and everything that it’s happening in Middle East.
I can say women have been suppressed, women have been devalued, and yet there are
so many powerful, intelligent, intellectual leaders in women in our countries.
So let’s take the case of Riley Gaines. A month
and a half ago, I was at a conference, and
she is Riley Gaines is a decorated female swimmer
who lost her medal to a transgender athlete.
And actually, what happened was they were noticing this one
person that suddenly came to all the meets and started winning.
And she’s an Olympian. So all the other Olympians were looking
to see how is this possible? Where did this one person come in?
And they were competing and competing, no matter how hard they
tried, or they swam, I mean, it got to a point that even few
seconds to admit it, and this person would win with a full length
until they realized that their competitor was a transgender.
Okay, bear with me. She gets on and you can
check it because it felt like a moment where
fairness was sacrificed for a political
correctness because, or for a propaganda, why?
Because, at the last meet, and the Olympics in her swimming,
she comes hair to air and within milliseconds they match.
So they’re supposed to be on the podium to get the gold medal. And right before
she steps up to get the gold medal, she says, okay, so I get the gold medal.
She gets the gold medal. The last moment as
she’s supposed to step up to the podium, they
ask her, please step down, I am sorry, but
we have to make sure that this person wins.
And Riley has since become a strong voice speaking
out about this, about fairness to women. And then
checking out the news and I see this thing about what
is the definition of a womanhood in the Supreme Court?
You know, here’s the deeper layer. By all means you can make a
suggestion, you can call me, you can, let’s talk about this, I want to
hear your opinion, behind every medal, behind every ruling, behind
every protest, are real people navigating every trial of emotions.
Because no matter what sex, no matter what we choose, I think about online we’re
human. And today’s conversation is talking about the humanity of who we are. Okay?
Riley grieving what felt like that stolen moment. And today she’s
talking about it, she’s going to speak at different pro podiums,
colleges, universities, and also I want to say even the transgender
athlete, facing hatred, bullying, and being reduced to a headline,
instead of a human being. Propaganda, putting her in
that position, but all the hatred that comes towards her.
And I, I’m saying her because I think she’s chosen to compete in the
women’s, that’s why she’s a hurt, even though biologically she’s not a she.
Okay, I’m confused, let alone our children in the schools.
So, and you, perhaps reading or seeing this message,
sitting with confusion, sadness, anger, hatred, or deep
empathy, wondering where your voice fits in on this.
Perhaps you have a child that feels confused,
wants to shift, feels different. You
know, I have family members who are gay, and I’ve known that since I was a kid.
Since I was a little girl, I knew that he was different.
And until he came out by all means, one of the
most intelligent intellectual, driven, what can I say,
smart professors, I know within my family members.
But this is beyond that, because there is a stigma about that, and there is
a stigma nowadays being heterosexual, transgender, XYZG, I do not understand.
I choose to look at every one of us as a human
being. Because it’s not about sports, it’s
not about identity, it’s about how we value each
other, and how we are accepted into society.
And it’s about the stories we carry, especially as women, being
seen, being heard, and being valued. We are having a hard time
just being who we are, let alone competing with someone that
comes, and says, I am one of you that was not born as one of us.
Did you go through every month through the
menstrual cycle? Did you have cramps? Did you
literally, like someone I know, like another
friend of mine that used to dig the floor
because of the pains every month, going through child labor? I cannot say, can you
conceive a child because not everyone can
conceive a child. But to be able to bear a child.
I think there is biological ways of saying, who is a woman and who is not. And
this is where the headlines begin, and that’s where healing could also start.
So I know you’re already thinking, where is this coming from, because
I’ve got clients that they bring their children who are confused. And some
of those teenagers that are confused is because of their friends who
tell them, this is what you ought to feel. This is what you ought to be.
So they are confused. Families are confused. Parents are
confused. And if you feel silenced, unseen, or overwhelmed by the
noise of everything that is happening, and I think it’s mostly
in the Cosmopolitan places, I want to say, I’m here for you.
Because just last month, I was dealing with a parent who was
going through anxiety because of not knowing how to help her son.
And when the son came over here, going through
panic and anxiety, almost suicidal, because he was
being bullied for being feminine, and yet he does
not want to change his gender. He’s just confused.
But again, because the truth is our voices and your
voice and his voice and her voice truly matters are
emotions matter. And you can hold space for your truth
while you still have compassion for each and every one.
During our work, I realized he is sensitive. He is
compassionate. He’s very caring and kind and very loving.
It’s just that the 17, actually 16 year old, has not understood what
being a man is because he hasn’t reached his manhood. And that’s where the
confusion is, just because he is a little bit more feminine and caring
and kind does not mean you have to label him a her, or say you must be…
transgender because you are sensitive. And that was
where his confusion was. He was being bullied on that.
And then having men decide what is a woman all the way to the Supreme Court.
You know, I think we as women have a battle with the Me Too movement
and where it started, it’s not to say, “Rah, rah, rah” against men.
But it’s for us to stand up for who we are so that we can show up with our
strength, with our stamina, with full compassion for humanity, for our family.
And I know times have changed women work. Some of them, most of us, run
businesses. It doesn’t matter if it’s a small business, large business.
We go through a lot of abuse and so many are silenced because they
can’t speak out for the fears. And yes, I may be talking to you.
I know what it feels like. And abuse is not always hitting.
But when you are hurting inside, when your physical body starts
breaking down, believe it or not, you have been physically hurt.
So, that’s one of the definitions of being a woman.
It starts. I don’t know, that’s one of the things
that’s what I was talking about. Why are we
having gender identity before the baby is born?
What’s the difference? Why do you do blue and pink?
That afterwards you’re going to do rainbow because of who we are. And believe it
or not, I don’t know the solution to the transgender competing in the athletes.
But what she feels, that must be a lot because not everyone accepts
it. Not everyone appreciates it. And yet, with that smaller percentage,
here, either in California or other Cosmopolitan places,
so many others have to go through hurt after so many
years of competing, doing their best to make the team
or stand at the podium and be told, get off the podium.
Because today we have to honor someone else. You see, if you’re
struggling with your own identity or you have someone else in your
family, within your friends, with this emotional pain and feeling
dismissed in today’s world, I invite you to connect with me.
Because when I work with my clients, I work with who they
are physically, mentally, emotionally. Not the labels that
either we have to accept because of propaganda or peer
pressure or a counselor from school or anywhere has told us
that who we are and what we feel. No one can feel for you. No one
can step in your shoes. No one can understand what you go through
each and every night behind closed doors, especially when you
close the door, and you want to go to sleep and you can’t sleep.
You’re dreading what the morning will bring. You’re dreading what’s
the next call or what’s going to happen tomorrow. That’s who I help.
Someone asked me, “How do I face the world when no one even asks me how I
feel?” We face the world one day at a time. Trust your gut, honor yourself.
Because if you pay attention to the peers and other
people, you’re going to go into your own self.
Self, negative talk, self regret, and then you’re going to be upset with
yourself, not for standing up for who you are and believe it or not.
There’s people like me who are here to listen to support you, to stand by you.
So, if this message makes an impact or something that
resonates with you, by all means, get in touch with me.
I do offer free 15-minute consultation and you can reach me at
www.leasabubarri.com or you can even text “heal” to 818-221-2797.
I always hear to respond to your text messages
and calls. So, be proud of who you are.
Man, woman, human being. That’s all I have to say today.
And the next time when a Supreme Court makes a decision, I would
like more women to stand up and say, “I am a woman and I matter.”.
Goodbye. God bless you. I made a universal
light surround you until next week. Bye-bye.