Mindset – How to Change Yours to Let Go

Welcome to Heal Talk Tuesday with Liza, where

transformation begins as we evoke, embrace, and evolve.

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Isn’t it?

Well, yesterday was Columbus Day, and I didn’t

even know, because when you’re working for yourself

and you’re not going to company, you completely lose track of certain holidays.

So, I want to say, it was a very special day, even though I

missed it, because, you know, how certain things mean so much

or they become very significant for us, because Columbus Day, not

only, it means something for America being discovered and all that,

all that, my Columbus. But I signed my documentations and everything when

I was purchasing my condo many, many years ago during Columbus weekend.

And I purchased my car during Columbus weekend. I

opened my office many years ago, 20-something years ago.

Yes, I’ve been practicing for over 20 years during Columbus weekend.

So, Columbus weekend has always been something that

I have either signed a contract or renewed something.

And guess what? This week, just a few days

ago, I had to renew everything from scratch.

You know what?

I got robbed. I, if you have seen my Facebook

post and everything, you probably have

read that I was taken, not taken physically,

but robbed at Trader Joe’s Glendale.

And I got distracted by one person, and I believe it was a tag team, and someone

else slipped their hand and stole my wallet from my purse in the shopping cart.

Okay. So, the reason I’m saying that, because I was so upset, upset, not

stressed. Well, in a way it was stressed. I was upset. I was stressed.

I was actually angry with myself because it was like, I got fooled by a

person, and I usually tell other women, I mean, take care of your purse.

Don’t leave your purse. Close your purse. Close the zipper. And I

come from trust versus fear. Everything that I do, I trust. Okay.

So, how do you function? Do you come from trust base or are

you in the fear base? Do you function more in the worry?

Or do you come from trust that everything is working out

for you? Because by doing that, this is what happened. I got

stressed. I came to the check stand. I come to pay my wallet

is gone, and I look at the woman and I say, my wallet is gone.

And she’s like, oh, I have another debit card

from my personal checking, so I paid thinking.

I may have a drop that in the car. I rush to

the car. Look everywhere. It’s not there. I get

in my car. Drive to my office, which was only

two blocks away, three blocks away. Check my

office, making sure that my wallet is not there.

It’s not there. I drive back to Trader Joe’s.

And I go there and I say, I’ve been robbed. So, they look and they said, well,

we don’t have your wallet and I said, I don’t care. But here’s my information.

Everything. And while I’m doing all this, I am in such control. He looks at me and

says, are you sure you got robbed? Maybe

you lost it. And I’m like, no, I got robbed.

But here’s my information. This is my card. This

is my cell phone. Please contact me. I have to

go and take care of stuff. And if there is any

cameras, please check. That’s it. Again, in my car,

come to the office by the time I got to the office.

Guess what? I was already getting information.

Texts. If you, if this is the person you are because

they were already at best by buying everything.

So this entire thing that it’s happening while

I was standing there talking to the manager,

he says, would you like some water? And I’m

looking, I heard it and I said, no, thank you.

I, this is what I do. I know how to manage

stress. But right now, I’ve got other things to

do because my entire intention was how to

safeguard my account and everything that I have.

It was not time for me to get stressed. The reason I’m saying yes, because normally

when something traumatic happens to us, what do we do? We lose control. We get

upset, we get angry, we get frustrated. And when you are frustrated, you are not

focused. See, it’s the different f. When you were frustrated, you’re not focused.

When something traumatic happens, usually what

happens, we do fight or flight or even freeze. I know

for a fact so many go into freeze mode, especially

when it’s an attack on the body or an accident.

So this is the work that I do. Instead of fight, flight or freeze, I went into

flow. Okay? And into focus. I came back to the office, started making calls to

trans union to the credit cards to the bank, blocked my checking account, blocked

my cards and reported every single thing within 15 minutes. Why had they bought?

They were shopping at Best Buy on my account over $6,000. They were

trying to buy. I was freezing everything. Now, we could lose control, get

frustrated, sit and moan and cry. And that’s okay. But due to focused

intentional, fix everything, repair everything, get focused, get in fear.

It’s getting flow, manage everything and then allow the emotions to take place

in a safe environment. Because I guess it’s just like first responders when

they come to a scene of accident or when someone is injured, it’s not about

panicking. It’s being trained how to manage what is happening at that moment.

And then deal with the consequences later. So, in

fact, I have witnessed this truth more times than I can

count on. A person walks into my office, holding a quite

mixed hope and deep-seated resistance in their eyes.

It’s as if I want to get better, but there’s that resistance in there.

I want you to help me, but I don’t know if this would work or not.

As a clinical hypnotherapist, one of the

things that I say is, I help you manage your

stress. I help you acknowledge what is

happening in order for you to be able to manage.

Because if you don’t understand it, you don’t know where

the reaction comes, where how to manage if you are going

into that panic mode. And there is no reason because

panic and anxiety comes when you feel you are not safe.

At that moment, I knew my body is safe. I knew I

am safe. Everything can be replaced, except me.

So, understanding certain things can be managed

than there is only you and your safety. So, when we

manage the mental side, the physical body does not

go into the traumatic experience to shut you down.

Does that make sense? Because the body always responds to what you think and

then what you think you feel it. When you feel it, the body responds to it.

You are reaction sets into mode. I could have gone

into panic, I could have gone into a hard path

of patient, I could have made a big scene and

nothing would have solved anything at that moment.

It is just a wallet and it is just cards. So, what if I were to say most

of my clients coming with the same mentality, what if this doesn’t work?

What if I still go into panic even if I learned the tools?

Well, allow me to say this. Through hypnosis, we tack into the

subconscious mind where it is your blueprint, where you train

habits, where your behavior habits and everything is already set.

And what I do is help you unravel it and understand how your mindset works

and then we shift it to a healthier way of responding to certain triggers.

Okay, let me give you an example. Twenty years ago, many years ago,

I used to smoke a pack a day, believe it or not, I was a smoker.

So, and after my divorce, I started dancing and I used

to go to a club in Glendale and I was at that country

Western Club for nights a week, dancing for three

hours and then shooting pool and playing darts. Okay.

And I was so good at pool that this is how it used to

be. I know you’re going to laugh and you’re going to say

really, yes. And I’m talking about my own vulnerability

because I think everything in life is about experiences.

So, I would dance three hours, yes, drink. And because I used

to smoke, so I had cigarette, shoot pool, my beer, my cowboy

hat, and of course my cowboy boots and everything. I was like

tip top shape, right? And the country music which I loved.

And in my mindset, I want you to also know as a smoker, I could not stand the smell of

cigarettes. So, even though I smoked, I would

come in at night after the club and I would just

literally walk in the door, there was the hallway

and my washer dryer was on the side. I would

take up my clothes, put it in the washer dryer,

close the lid in order for me not to smell it.

So, there was even in my condo, which was a

two-bedroom, no smoking in a bathroom, no smoking

here, I had rules for smoking even though I

was a smoker. Okay. Now, here’s the gist of it.

Talking about habits and behaviors. It was ingrained in me that if I

am smoking and I have my beer and I am shooting and it was very good.

At what time, so I could read, I was winning a lot on the table and

I could just win clear the table very well. I had my own pool stick.

When I started working as a hypnotherapist and I stopped

smoking in order for me to understand what is being a

non-smoker. The withdrawls, the mindset, the craving, emotional

withdraw, the physical withdraw, the mental withdraw.

Every aspect of smoking I have gone through it, but

at one point I could not shoot pool and I stopped

going to the club, you know why? Because I was thinking,

how can I shoot pool if I don’t have my cigarette?

And the beer, everything has to be there in place

in order for me to win. Do you hear the mindset?

Because it was a perception. This and this have to

be in place in order for me to play well and win.

I thought without this, this could not happen.

So many of my clients have come and said,

without smoking, I can’t go to the restaurant.

If I don’t do this habit, I can’t do this.

So everything is a pattern set by you for you. I

started by talking about trauma and response to

trauma, how instead of going to panic and instead

of going into frustration, I went into focus.

That’s years of training. Once you retrain your patterns, your mindset,

believe it or not, certain habits, cravings, especially emotional cravings

fade away. And they get replaced with a healthier way. I can go shoot

pool nowadays because, you know, for over three months, I never set foot.

And that club thinking, if I go there, I want to play.

If I play, I can’t win. See, it’s like that the domino

effect. So I refrained from enjoying bands, enjoying pool,

enjoying socializing only because of my own mindset.

I think about it, how ridiculous it was, but at

that time it made sense. And I want to say to you,

often we make decisions. And what you choose, what

you decide, it is the right decision at that time.

Maybe it doesn’t work anymore. Maybe it’s not

healthy anymore. It’s not conducive to your

well-being, your joy, your wellness, your health,

your wealth anymore. And that’s the key anymore.

So if I were to ask you, what changes would

you like to see within yourself? What changes

would you like to make? Would you like to

have a better response at times of panic and

anxiety? Things that you can control be more

in focus, do the right thing, put everything

in place. And then when the emotions come,

you’re in a safe place and you can deal with it.

And have such a cute response that you can even manage, just

like me, root canal with no anesthesia, knowing that if I

were to be somewhere I can have a puff of a cigarette and this

remind myself, oh my god, that stink, that smell. It’s so bad.

It’s just like this weekend I was a uni-fest.

What an amazing event. Wine and everything.

And there was a booth that had cigars. Oh my god, do I love the smell of good cigar?

Not cigarettes, because cigarettes stink. They still stink for me.

But the smell of the cigar, especially pipe. You hardly find anyone

with pipe. But because the smell of pipe reminds me of my uncle and

reminds me of a guy I used to date and I was truly infatuated with him.

So to me, the smell of pipe is an association to people I liked. The smell

of cigar is association to my godfather, actually my parents, godfather.

And that when I was a kid, he would always come and

sit in the corner, talk to my dad, they would talk

business and everything and I would see him smoke a cigar

and I would just be mesmerized. Emotional connection.

That smell, the sight of this big guy with such eloquence sitting talking

to my dad. While my dad was smoking cigarettes, he was smoking cigar.

And the smell to me is a reminder of a certain time

and a place. Everything, our patterns, our behaviors,

our habits, our emotional connection to an experience,

either seen, heard, tasted, smelled or touched.

Either one felt good, looked good, smelled good, heard well, and it

made impact in your life. Then, again, the imperative word, then.

So through hypnotherapy, we tap into the subconscious

so you get to understand that experience, recall

the image or any of the five senses and we shift

it to a healthier choice for today. Simple, easy.

I know I make it very simple and yet it is, we human beings are so simple.

Even our behaviors are so simple and yet intricate. We make it difficult.

Our patterns and habits, everyone of us, has our own unique way of doing

the same thing. So if I can be up-help to you by all means, let me know.

Also, my 3E event is coming up November

8th. I would love for you to attend.

You know why? Because that is the day that you can have me time to yourself.

But away from family, work, children, dog sitting,

everything. It’s your time. Come and learn from

our speakers. I’m going to speak. I’m going to do

that guided visualization, a little bit of hypnosis.

We’re going to have that drum that is going to be with the beat of

your heart. Turn in. You go places for doing mindfulness or silentness.

I’m bringing everything right here to our

community. From power speakers about health,

menopause, wellness, career, being a CEO in your

life, being a CEO in your business, managing,

your inner confidence, finding a trust within you in order

for you to function healthier and better. Plus, we’re

awarding four of exemplary people within our community. Then

we’re having a celebration, our red carpet, step and repeat.

Everything happening in one day to literally expand

your mind and your heart becomes full of joy,

connections, sisterhood, dance, music, and you

walk home as if you’ve had a full three-day vacation.

Now, wouldn’t that be awesome? Go in. Sign up. Be part of us. The 3E event.com.

I look forward to making a difference in each and every one’s

life. If I can make that one change in one day, I’ve done my job.

I look forward to seeing you or even hearing from

you. If there’s anyone that you know that I can be

of help by all means, DM me, message me, let’s get

on a call. I know for 15 minutes, free consultation.

Let’s connect. Until next week, I bid you goodbye and God bless

you. May the universal light surround you always. Be safe.

Bye.