Real Talk with Yulin S. Lee

Welcome to Heal Talk Tuesdays with Liza.
Where transformation begins as we evoke embrace the evolve.
Readings greetings greetings and welcome to Heal Talk Tuesdays.
This is Liza.
It’s so good to be here with you, isn’t it?
And this is amazing because today is the 11th, 7/11.
What the 7/11 remind me of
power numbers, 11 steady, strong,
and we stand up for who we are.
Oh, hey.
Right?
So welcome to all of you who are present and with us.
I’m Liza Boubari and this is Real Talk with Liza.
Today I have a special guest and a special guest of mine is Yulin Lee.
So welcome, Yulin. Thank you.
Thank you so much for the opportunity
to be having this conversation with you.
And I just wanted to ask before we move
forward. Do you want to go ahead and record as
well just in case the live is not worth it? Yes.
You’re so good.
Okay, record.
That way for safe. Wonderful.
So.
I am so excited for today because
you and I met over about two years ago.
And you know, everybody asks me, why do you go to all these places and
seminars and everything?
This is exactly why I love going to seminars to retreat to a lot of things
because we get to meet special people who become special in our life.
And we’ve known each other for about two years and I just adore who you are.
And of course, yeah.
And of course the picture is there.
The person is real.
And let’s talk about unleashing who you are and about your books.
So we’re going to talk about all of that.
So again, welcome, Yulin.
Thank you. Thank you.
Okay.
So we met and I want to go back to the beginning.
We met because we were we are both co authors on the book that powerful
female immigrants.
And when I read your story, it was so heartwarming.
Oh, thank you. Yeah.
You know, you talk about your life in that book that you came to the United
States when you were 13 years old.
Right.
And so many of us have this conception
that being Asian, you must be very smart.
It must be very powerful or influential and also rich and everything.
So the beginning of your life was not affluent.
Far from that, far from that, you know, I was born in China.
And so, you know, back then, you know, there’s more than 50 years ago in
China is a very different world than it would it is today.
And so, you know, my background is
really coming from very, very modest very .
And it’s not that, you know, our family, particularly poor.
It’s just like the whole country was that was a state of the whole country
where we literally just had enough food to eat and roof over our head, but
never really had more than that.
And so I grew up growing up.
I did not have one single toy, believe it or not.
So so I, my childhood memory was playing in the alleys with the other kids
with rocks and rubber bands.
So that was our entertainment for the childhood.
You know, you say something like that.
And yet I think one of the things that are lacking for children now, these.
is play outside and with other children instead of justice telephone.
That’s right. That’s right. And that’s why, you know, writing this
particular book, you know, the power frame, I grew up in a female immigrant.
It actually made me to really kind of go back to my life before the us,
which, you know, it’s been, I’ve been here for 42 years.
And so it’s been a long journey and I’ve spent most of my life here.
And so it was actually kind of a nice, you know, walk down the memory Lane.
And what I really realized is that growing up, I never had money, but
because the way I was brought up in our family that I never felt poor.
And so I, you know, this is a very key one of the key messages that I wanted
to give to everyone as a money coach is that how you feel about yourself,
you know, you have self identity around money has nothing to do with how
many zeros you have in the bank account.
It’s all inside of you. And when you feel rich and powerful and that’s
coming in from inside your own inner power, then, you know, it’s, it doesn’t
matter. And, but I say it, but at the same time, when you are powerful
inside, you naturally start accumulating wealth. It becomes easier.
And so oftentimes that the tug of war, the mental struggle is really what’s
blocking us from having more wealth.
Okay. So I have some notes over here. We’re going to be talking about that.
And so one of the things is you come into this country and yes, you’re
talking about the struggle and your parents and translating for your parents
and everything.
And you go to the university, you learn computer science and become a
software engineer, right?
Okay, which brings you to a level of status
knowing education, right?
So at what point does you, Lynn,
realize that who I am is more than my title
is more than my education. It’s more than being a daughter or a wife.
And I know you’re a mom to a beautiful,
beautiful girl. So how do we come to.
understand that money does not make
me who I am, but I make. So do we have
money blocks?
We all do. I think we all do, right? So to answer your first question, you.
know, at which point from in my own personal life became that that point of
starting to shift internally. And I think that was probably was around 35.
Looking back, that was really the start of my personal growth journey. You
know, I am done to this more kind of a spiritual path. Before that, I was
like any other typical younger people, especially from the Asian families,
your work car, you get good grades and you know,
you get a good job and you know, you, right?
And I bought my first house two years after I graduated from college. So I
was checking, you know, all the boxes
I was doing doing doing until the high achievement.
And I was an achiever until a point where, and it wasn’t like
intentionally I said, oh, I’m going to do this. It just naturally came on,
but it naturally came on as actually unhappiness. I was, I was going through
a phase where I was very, very unhappy with myself and you know, even I
remember my mom would say, like, what’s wrong with you, you have everything
like you have a good job, you have a husband, you have two kids, you have,
you know, beautiful life like what more do you want.
But what more do I want was I wasn’t clear, but there was something
internally that I felt unhappy. And I think that was, you know, now looking
back, it was really kind of the beginning
of of searching for a purpose in life.
But the realization that the quote unquote fulfillment as we as I knew it
before and those fulfillments were, you know, built by material stuff and
hard accomplishments to more going inward and say, you know, what is really
the meaning of life.
What is the purpose of life and what
is the meaning in the things I do every.
day. And so, so yeah, so that was, I always say around 35.
Okay.
So, one of the things you talk about unleashed the book about and most of
your coaching that you do about money and everything is especially with
women to empower with women with money with
finances with wealth management, right.
So, you know, I was watching a movie.
The reason I’m saying this because
this couple were in an advertising company and they had achieved a
partnership and another company came and offered her the lead of marketing
at a bigger company.
And she felt I can’t overshadow him,
which is her partner because she loved
him and saying like I can’t leave him here and go higher. So, she
refused the job and what happened was they offered it to him and he
immediately said yes, came home and
said they offered me the position. This
is the best thing and she was like, but they
offered it to me first and he says well.
What do you mean, why didn’t you take it? And she said because I couldn’t.
So, do we have this notion of women are more emotional they they don’t
believe they are worthy they don’t deserve.
Or what what is this thing about money and women and yet for a man it’s like
it’s a given higher status and everything they believe there’s.
And then women do. Yeah, absolutely,
I think you’re right in that you know
in my workings with many women.
It’s it’s very obvious that so many women we tend to be.
We put ourselves down when we play small when it comes to money and finance
and there’s multiple reasons why right I mean, and I think it’s you know
overall if I had to generalize it is a result of centuries of conditioning.
You know, women’s role in a society that you know our role was is to take
fat take care family and making money going
out doing these things are the men’s role.
Now, that might have been true in the past,
but we all know it’s no longer the case.
But those conditioning has been so deep rooted for hundreds of years it’s
almost like in our DNA so it is going to take time to to shift out of that
and I am seeing that shift.
But then you know just the story and listening to the story you were
describing, I think even on top of that there’s another layer which may not
just be women but it’s just more human right that sometimes we we tend to
project we we think about certain things and we project our own images.
Our own identities on other than people and other things so I think in this
particular case if she was more aware of her own internal kind of how she’s
wired to think about these things.
Maybe she could have you know before flat out just refusing it, and it get a
conversation at least with him and say what do you think right, and so I
think that’s also something really important
for people to remember is to not to
to put necessary project our own
assumptions right so is it is money the
blocks and everything.
Is it mindset is it a belief is that
our family values or is it self worth
and how do we come to overcome such blocks.
Yeah, well you know it’s it’s it’s a ball of everything right all mixed
together and so I mean that is literally the work that I do with clients is
is you know I like to make the analogy of it’s like if it feels like it’s
appealing and right so you start working on the outer later.
Yeah, and so and then you find something else underneath and then you peel
away another layer in your peel another layer and
then really at the core of it that is your true self.
That is you know your your beautiful self that with everything you need and
all the power you need to do anything in the world.
But it is those layers and where those layer come from you know society,
family and all of that so how do we overcome it I think you know the one of
the most important thing is is to really.
Reframe how we think about money and how we look at money.
To me money is just like anything in our anything else in our life you know
whether it’s health or relationship it’s
something that needs to be nurtured .
But the thing is you know with health and relationships of example, we all
know we need to have good health and we all know we we need healthy and good
relationship in our lives because it would be
healthy for us as human beings we need connections.
But we don’t we don’t automatically think we also need you know good money
environment and you know situations because we being also again conditioned
to think of money as the source of evil and you know we hear all that you
know that everywhere.
But you know it’s so this is where we need to kind of step back and say you
know money is just a tool it’s just a tool that we actually created like
human created this money thing in the past it was just bartering so it’s
just a tool that we created.
But what it what makes money so powerful is that it actually brings out the
good and the evil in all of us.
So oftentimes we hear stories and everyone right so somebody you know get
rich and then they start to think you know like feel like they’re kind of
above other people they’re living on the clouds you know whatever they start
to lose their ground and the people blame money for it but it’s it’s like no
that was in him.
It was just money who brought it out right so.
So nobody define who we are like our success is it measured by money or is
it measured by something else because I think nowadays with all the media
social media everything people are really.
Look at social media and they say well that person must be very successful
look at the car look at this look at where they’re going and yet they.
I don’t believe money defines who we are and yet it defines our success.
Yeah, and then that’s why you know it’s such a that’s why I love working in
this field because money is such a multifaceted things right that money
definitely so I actually had a very similar conversation with another person
last week.
And we talked about how you know how money comes into our own businesses
like as a entrepreneur how we think about the
work that we do we really want to serve others.
And so for some of us sometimes we actually struggle with having making
enough money from the service that we want to do so how do you reconcile
those those differences.
And so to me you know my personal opinion is that money doesn’t define you
but how much money you make through your
business does validate the work you do.
And as one of the measure not the measure right okay and and so because I
think a lot of people and including myself sometime too is like you know I
just want to serve people and I don’t
really can how much money I make right .
And that’s great you know coming out of our own you know generosity or
whatever. But in the in the realistic world we all meet money to live and
survive and so when you start making enough money from your business.
And so that’s why you know I really
think and I think a lot of people you
know what not you quay spirituality
and money to be like in the same place
you know a lot of people.
In the spiritual world feel like I don’t that’s all material stuff I don’t
need and I’m like a less really committed to be a monk go living somewhere
up on the mountain somewhere.
And so let’s just come down a little bit and it’s really at the intersection
of your own spirituality and I don’t mean it in a religious way but like in
really in the.
You’re all knowing yourself and your own wording as your who you are, and if
you can really marriage that with your comfortable and healthy relationship
with money and without feeling the shame
of making money and wanting a good life.
That’s what that’s what you get to flow and we like you know that’s where
the magic happens and the happier you are the happier you are in your home
at work with everybody else so it’s a positive and it’s a positive energy.
And also I will say money takes the blame for many many things right so let’s
assume somebody who grew up in a
in a family where maybe their parents are
not the we’re not the most supportive.
Maybe you grew up with things like who do you think you are or we don’t have
money for that you know I can because these are like really.
Yeah, we spend too much you know and and stop doing that you know whatever
that the negative talks that the negative talks yeah from the parents.
And so you know a lot of it is actually from those conditioning right it and
then it shows up in how we deal with money so again money wasn’t.
The source of lack of self worthiness.
The lack of self worthiness actually came from somewhere else, but we
manifested it in how we actually deal with our money now day to day life.
So that’s why I said you know it’s so it’s such a you know ball wax that we
need it like really just pull out the different pieces and then cut through
this clutter of all this mental struggles in our head and in our emotions to
really get to a really peaceful place where you feel completely aligned with
the work that you do and the amount of money you make.
And without feeling the shame and absolutely enjoying what you have.
Coming to self worth and realizing that you deserve it and you are worthy of
success you are worthy of being at the top of your game being having that
position by the way in the movie she does
get the position and does work for her.
And they do get married and he takes care of the children more because she’s
doing the more of the work and yet they are very loving together so it’s a
beautiful story which is where I wanted to understand is.
What is the one challenge that you have overcome and it may not be about
money it’s may not be about success but overall in your life a challenge
that you overcame that you have come to embrace and now you’re teaching.
others how you’re making an impact.
You know, I think for me in my life I’ve been very very blessed that I can’t
think of like a big big tragedy or you know big thing that I had to overcome
so knock on wood. But it doesn’t mean that I haven’t had any.
I think it as I as I go as I take any of our I take it as I go.
And and just see it as part of life.
And so mentally I downplay the significance or the weight of the challenges
and I focus on what needs to get done in the moment.
Which is a perfect segue to my next question if you were to give few tools.
or techniques.
To all individuals here it doesn’t matter if it’s a man or woman or whatever
, but for individuals listening to our listeners.
What would be few techniques and tools for them to start becoming a higher
achiever or shifting their mindset or reset their belief about deserving and
accumulating more money.
Yeah, yeah, so great question and you know when it comes to deserving.
I want to say this, we all every one of us in this world we all deserve
everything in the world that we could ever want.
So it’s never a question of deserving and I know for some people maybe they
have been growing up in an environment where they’ve been told that they don’t
deserve this or that, but that is a true
that we all deserve a thing in the world.
At the same time it’s so, but the key is though we don’t get to have
everything at the same time right so there’s priorities and that’s the
the choices we have to make so if I were to say you know what are the
specific skills or tools that each one of us have to we need to have.
It’s really sharpened your your skills on making choices.
Because we all deserve everything but we all know that we’re not going to
get everything in the world because we actually don’t have the capacity to
have everything and we don’t necessarily want everything in the world right.
So it really comes down to making strategic and intentional choices for what
would move the needle for you and what’s more important to you in your life.
And that is part of the deeper deeper work that I do with the clients is you
know really understanding what it what really matters in their life.
Because I was talking to someone and she was saying oh my god everything is
so expensive.
Even I mean school is expensive for the kids the kids want everything and it’s
just like credit cards piling up and yet.
So life still goes on all the bills have to be paid so how do we start
managing and saving.
Yeah yeah so you know what then so the first step is again it is it is
absolutely critical that we turn inward to really understanding who we are
just to be able to start creating healthier relationship with money. Now
beyond that on the practical level it comes down to the grit right it comes
down to establishing a money management habit.
So do create a budget track everything you spent I just had a class with a
20 year old right teaching them how to how to use a budget worksheet and.
You track it it take so money is like a sports.
So if you look at all the good athletes in the world of the Olympians or you
know the football players they don’t just become number one they don’t just
get good they practice every single day for hours and hours and hours.
You don’t need to do that but you do need a structure where you actually
practice on the regular basis.
And if you actually do it right it doesn’t have to be a lot of work we just
don’t have the habit of doing it.
And so once you create the habit then it’s you know it’s a matter of like
once a month or maybe a two times a month where you check certain things in
your finances and you on the quarterly basis.
And you can also review your overall finances and on the yearly basis it’s
absolutely critical that you do financial planning every single year.
And to see if there are anything that need to be adjusted from last year and
maybe you have some new goals.
So I think that the challenge for a lot of people really comes from people
really live their their life by the state of
their parents I mean when it comes to finances.
And you can see the focus on other things that may be very focused on
building business or pursuing a career.
But when it comes to personal finance I find most people don’t have that
discipline in the habit and that that’s really what it takes.
I mean if you’re talking about how does how to start saving.
There’s no there’s no special magic to it.
It’s actually quite simple.
You just have to do it.
I don’t know that helped that answers your question.
Yes, it’s one of the habits they say pay yourself first.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
And that’s that’s one of the practice right when you’re when you’re having
your especially when you have your own business.
But it’s the same thing even if you’re salary worker right is that when you
take the income from your paycheck.
What do we do in most cases people just pay this pay this
pays it pay this. And then spend on certain everything
and then it’s like, Oh, why only have a
hundred dollar left. Okay. That’s the savings.
Versus thinking I’m making this money amount of money.
I want to save five hundred dollars a month.
And so if I take that first pay myself first then I only get to spend
whatever’s left over.
Right. So it’s completely shifting the priorities in life.
And I think for most people, especially in the American society, they
prioritize expense over savings.
So that that’s that’s the result of it is because we don’t save enough in
people don’t save enough because they
prioritize save expenses spending first.
I like that they prioritize expenses.
Over over over a thousand investing. Yeah. So it.
That’s a validation.
That now I automatically say that’s a validation.
That’s so true because having my own business,
I have to prioritize everything else.
Who to give before I take it myself. So thank you very much for the reminder
which I’m going to.
Yeah, yeah, I would definitely you know to I
would definitely say focus on your need first.
This is how much money I need to make this month.
And then the rest is what I get to spend.
And then it actually forces me to become
more efficient with our resources too.
And that’s that’s wonderful because I usually
say, okay, this is how much the expenses.
This is how much I have to make and then
everything else is anything above that is mine.
Right, right. Yeah. So we need to completely shift that order.
Yes.
Which is a great point. I mean, this was worth everything. So I just got
therapy ladies and gentlemen.
Which reminds me to share that. I hope
you will be attending our The 3E Event.
And for any of our viewers, you Lynn hopefully will be at our The 3E Event in
September and you’ll bring your books and everyone can come and meet you.
You might even do sell not not only sell your books, but also do an autograph
them book signing and everyone will love that.
Yes.
A lot of the powerful she ladies are going
to be there from our powerful she book.
We’re going to be launching our book there and some of our past book from
the powerful female immigrants hopefully will be there.
So I look forward and I thank you for saying yes, not only for this.
interview, but also being a coach
being who you are and not only achieving
as money, but achieving as the success that you say you are and you got an
upcoming retreat in Italy.
You’re traveling to Paris and above all I want everyone to know.
You think amazing photographer.
Oh, thank you. I’m actually a amateur.
I started learning a couple of years ago.
So, but you know, again, I think this is part of what I enjoy so much of my
own lifestyle right now is that I’m in a place where I’m working doing the
work that I love.
And I get to enjoy the things that I want to enjoy in life. And so that that
is really the ultimate goal of us, you know, whatever career you’re in,
whatever business you’re in, you know, to make a money like why.
Well, it’s because at least for me, I want to be able to live the lifestyle
that I want and so I’m really, really happy and wanting to bring more women
out to the same journey with me. Amen.
So thank you all for being present and today’s episode was wonderful.
And I, you know, one one thing I love is on our dollar bill right on top. It
says in God, we trust and it’s God, it’s own energy. So every dollar bill,
every money, everything that we touch in life, even the relationships that
we create and we invest in right is all energy and love and abundance.
Absolutely. So thank you so much for being on real talk with Liza. And for
those of you who are watching and I look forward to seeing you at our event
and especially next week.
Until then, God bless you and may do
universal light surround you out always.
. Thank you, you’re Ling. Thank you.

Embracing Change, Embracing Change, Embracing Change