Should vs Could
Welcome to Heal Talk Tuesday! I’m Liza Boubari, and today we’re exploring the powerful shift from “Should” to “Could.” This may sound like a small change, but it has the potential to transform how you see yourself and how you approach challenges.
How Words Shape Your Experience
Words matter. They shape our thoughts, influence our emotions, and even impact our physical health. I recently worked with a client who had been confidently performing the same hospital procedure for over fifteen years—until one simple question from a supervisor triggered anxiety and self-doubt. That moment reawakened childhood memories of reprimands and criticism, echoing old wounds she thought were long gone.
Why “Should” Hurts
“Should” is often loaded with judgment and pressure. It makes us question our abilities, decisions, and even our worth. Those echoes from authority figures—parents, teachers, bosses—can embed themselves deep in our subconscious, triggering anxiety and causing our bodies to react with stress symptoms like racing hearts and even illness.
The Power of “Could”
What if, instead of “I should,” you said, “I could”? This simple shift changes the tone from obligation to possibility, from judgment to empowerment. In hypnotherapy, we use language as a healing tool, reframing old triggers and helping clients step into their power. This same client returned to work with newfound confidence, no longer defined by old voices of disapproval.
Your Words, Your Power
Your body remembers what your mind tries to forget, but you can choose empowering words and release what no longer serves you. Next time you catch yourself saying “should,” try replacing it with “could”—and feel the difference in your body and spirit.
Additional Tools
HealWithin also offers audio recordings for sleep, stress reduction, and self-esteem.

Can I Hypnotize Myself?
Yes, it’s called self-hypnosis. Hypnotherapy empowers you by providing tools to manage stress in your daily life. You can learn self-hypnosis techniques, enabling you to enter a state of relaxation whenever needed. These techniques can be practiced at home, allowing you to take control of their stress levels independently. My audio recordings can help guide you.
Self-hypnosis is so powerful that I have undergone several dental surgeries without anesthesia or painkillers. You can see me on YouTube having dental surgery with only self-hypnosis.
More Information
My Recommended Audio Recording
I have made audio recordings for self-hypnosis specifically to address certain issues. I recommend the Build Confidence and Stress No More recordings. Download the recording and save it to your device for listening. Find a quiet and comfortable place as you allow hypnosis to happen.
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Should vs Could Video
Transcript of Should vs Could
Transcript
Welcome to Heal Talk Tuesdays with Liza. Where
transformation begins as we evoke, embrace, and evolve.
Greetings, greetings, greetings, and welcome to Heal Talk
Tuesdays with Liza. It’s so good to be here with you, isn’t it?
Well, I don’t know where you are in the world if you are at work at home, but
wherever you are, I hope that you are feeling absolutely wonderful and centered.
It’s so good to be here. So today I’m going to be talking about something we often
overlook. Something that we hear it, we listen to it, we respond to it, and yet,
it affects us, and we haven’t done anything about it. The power of
words, especially words when they come from someone in the position of
authority by show of hands, or you can even respond, or say, if you have
ever felt a cringe or something when you hear someone’s voice, right?
Or tonalities, making a fact, or they sit either good or not with
you. You see, we are all the five senses, right? It’s instinctively
as humans, we have that animalistic, an animalistic thing within
us, and that the scent is one of the most powerful things.
You know, we always say, we have the eyes, the eyes can be very
deceiving, they can. What we think we are seeing, even like an
accident, three people, four people can witness, or even two
people can witness the same thing, and the way they interpret it.
What they saw is the vision of what they saw, and sometimes it
can be off. It’s not exactly the same. So, eyes can be deceiving.
The thing is, we also have touch, good touch, bad touch, right? And, of course,
taste, everybody’s got their own taste, what tastes good to me may not be.
To me, may not be the same for you if it is hot. I may
have a tolerance to spicy food, and someone does not. Okay?
So, we all come our five senses, of course. It’s the
eyes, the smell, the taste, the touch, and the auditory.
And today I’m going to be talking about the auditory part,
because the power of words truly make an impact, and it
gets stored. Everything all five senses, and plus your
spirituality, your energy, everything, yes, it gets stored.
So, how do you respond? What is your dominant part of your senses? If
auditory is one of them, I want to talk about something very powerful. The
power of words, as a hypnotherapist, all we do is talk about words and
words that make an impact not only consciously, but our subconscious might.
It resonates because we learn. This is good, this is bad. So, a client
recently came to me feeling anxious and very edgy walking on eggshells. Nothing
bad had actually happened that she couldn’t think of, right? But a comment
from a supervisor simply questioning if she was sure about a decision,
in the work that she’s been doing for 15 years,
right? The same thing, it’s like a procedure, it’s
like a habit. She can close her eyes and do this
procedure at the hospital with her eyes closed.
And because of this questioning, it sent her into a spiral. Her
heart raised, her palms got sweaty, and she couldn’t think straight.
Actually, to a point that the next time she came to do the same
procedure she’s been doing for 15 and more years, she froze.
Here’s what’s fascinating. Her body was reacting to the here and now.
Actually, it happened only a few weeks ago. And since then, she’s
been doing everything to, and this is where her body got sick. She
got a very bad flu. She was staying home. She was not going to work.
To work, believe it or not, this is like a body that is responding and the body will
do everything to give you signals to protect
you. I’ve talked about this all the time.
Something that you think has nothing to do with it has a direct coalition with
your nervous system, with your body, with your emotions and thoughts, right?
So, as we explored a few days ago, we discovered that
those words echoed a familiar tone from her childhood
because that’s a little girl. Every time she tried
to express herself, she was met with reprimands.
It’s as if she had no voice. At that time, she said
elderly. I mean, she’s not a spring cheek chick.
And because of years of experience in the work that she’s been doing, she could
not believe that this is happening to her. But through hypnotherapy, through
discovering what’s going on, tapping into the subconscious and allowing her
mind to explore, to go back to another time and a place by tapping, awakening.
Not only the nervous system, but I call evoking certain
thoughts, ideas, going back to another time and a place, going
back to another place. She realized that when she was a kid,
she was reprimanded. Every time she came to speak, she was…
And she learned. Why would you do that? Because what were you thinking? You
should have known better. Those were the words that she learned as a little girl.
It’s as if she would do something. It’s like, why would you do that?
Feeling reprimanded as if she did something wrong. And you should have known
better. Because one time, she forgot to do something for her brother and
her brother fell. And because she was the older sister, she was reprimanded.
You see, when words like that, the shoulds are used repeatedly. And
especially from figures of authority. Someone in the family that you
love, you care, you look up to. And yet they have the authority to
have that voice, that tonality to punish, like a parent or a teacher,
or even a boss. They can embed shame. They can embed that
fear factor and sucked out into our subconscious mind. We take
this for lightly. And yet, working with people who have
experienced traumatic experiences, even in the abusive cycle,
that voice of authority, that diminishes your self-confidence and goes
core into the self-esteem. And as a childhood, there has been a voice of a
parent or authority or a teacher. And we cringe. We cringe as a child. We
cringe in a relationship. We cringe at work, not realizing that it is not you,
cringing is that inner self-cringing. And
thinking, did I do this right? But I know my
work that I do this, did I do something wrong?
Even asking yourself, what am I doing wrong?
It’s the truth is your body remembers what your mind tries
to forget. Always. Because our mind wants to protect us, our
body protects us. It’s safe guards us, right? And it responds
to symptoms. The responses are certain triggers. The words,
This is why the words matter because could invite possibility should impose pressure.
Should put you in a place of, should I do this, doubting yourself? Should I call,
“Shall I, should I, should I not?” So it takes the power from you and puts you in a
position of questioning yourself, questioning
your ability, questioning your decision.
Okay? It dispowers you. And then it’s like, should I even
do this? That means I don’t know if I should or not, but you
know better. You know better. And what if, you could, could,
because I know you can. Shift the words, just shift it.
I’m not saying eliminate. Shift the word. So instead of disempowering you, one word
can empower you. Empower that decision.
Where one empowers the other one diminishes.
Diminishes. So ask yourself, what words can I use? What
words have affected me from the past? What words, what
tone has affected me since childhood? You can write those.
As a matter of fact, even last week, I talked about it.
I’m writing it with your left hand. It’s so difficult.
But if you ask one question and ask yourself,
your subconscious will respond with one word. You
can say, are those mine? Or somewhat else’s voice.
What’s happening with me? Is this happening to me because
I have got students for myself? So choosing empowering
words, questioning, it’s not happening to me right
now. When did this come to me? When did this happen?
Sometimes it could be when you were 20 years old. Maybe you were 11
years old. Maybe you were 5 years old. I don’t know. I do not have
the answers. Client came. The body is reacting. All the symptoms of
anxiety are happening only signals for you to pay attention to you.
As I said, anxiety has nothing to do from
the outside. It’s an internal thing we feel.
Things do not happen to us. They happen for us to take time. She did not
get sick for four days being in bed. It was like the body says, okay,
so we don’t want to go to work. That voice of authority questioned my
abilities that I have known for 15, 16 years of doing the same procedure.
I’m going to help you and stop you from going to work.
Believe it or not. That body of yours does that. To protect
the inner self. That younger self that felt reprimanded.
Now you could cool yourself. And that’s what happened.
So when we feel it in our stomach, if there is an
inflammation, if there is an unsettling thing, if there
is an IBS, when it’s running out of your life and
believe it or not, when you love the massage, your core.
And you breathe into it and you go into that state of deep relaxation.
Your stomach will grow. Your body will speak. And the moment
you drop your shoulders and let all that weight that you have been
carrying without realizing the burden that heaviness from friends.
But they said what she said, what she said, from authorities,
what he said, what she said. From parents recommending
us from as a child, what she said, what he said, what
grandma said, what the neighbors said. All those pressures.
That heaviness. That’s right. In also, we
have no therapy. We uncover and tap into the
root of those emotional triggers. And then we get to reframe. We shift. We re-edit.
So that you can respond from power. You can respond from I can.
You respond from letting the inner self know. You know what?
Stop giving power to someone else. You can. I can. I am you.
And I am here. I am the voice of authority for us, for me.
I am here to stand up and be the voice for me. I got you. I
got us. I got me. It’s not about should. It’s about could. It’s
about can. It’s about must. It’s about will. It’s about I can.
And I will. And it’s not about the future. It’s about the future.
It’s about realizing. And that’s what I did. It’s not empowering.
It’s shifting and re-awakening the power within. So it’s
not empowering. In a sense that I’m giving her power. No. It’s
re-awakening her own power to realize she is her authority.
She’s the one that the little one within has been looking up
to and to realize we have a voice. I can. And I will. So she
went back to work. And she called me. It’s like, oh my god. I
don’t know what you did. But it worked. No. There is no end.
There is no it. You. You worked. You stood up.
You had a voice. And no one was there to recommend
you. So that tonality of the past has no power
over you today. And yes, maybe what a supervisor.
You, uh, boss said the tone was in a way that it reminded you. Remind that
the little girl of what she felt then. You are not that little girl. You’re
a grown up person right here today. You’re the adult. You have overcome
so many obstacles and challenges in your life to be where you are today.
You know, I talk about good touch and that touch.
And if you have been hurt. And your body has reacted
in a way. You know, even pinching. When we are a
little girl, someone comes and pinches. It’s like,
And if someone were to come and pinch you, then why is it that we say, Oh, pinch
yourself. So no one gives you the bit. But I, well, that’s a good pinch. It’s
not that pinch as being represented. I grew up in all girls Catholic school. I
know I’d be in spanked what being pitched what being tapped, not tapped, slapped.
It’s all about. But today they have no power over me. Because now I understand.
If I did something, they didn’t know how to
reprimand and the loud voices that commands and
everything. It was only about discipline. And it
was certain way of they were doing it their way.
That way does not make me cringe anymore. Because now I
have taught the little girl within me. But this or that,
this, even the touch and pinch and everything. If it
hurts, I’ll go, Oh, stop. I will spoil it. I will stand up.
So energetically, we’re so in turn with our energy,
with our boundaries and everything. So when you
are with people and you walk in somewhere and I’ve
talked about this, doesn’t feel good. Walk out.
And your body will react. So at that very moment,
just, I can handle this. I can remain here. I can.
Because you deserve to feel safe, not only physically,
emotionally and definitely with your sound mind.
Everything is about self-protection,
self-preservation and knowing that you have the
power and you can. So next time you start
using, should I say, I choose, I can, I will.
So let go of the fears and that’s not even yours. If this
speaks to you, resonates with you and you believe that there
is a block just yesterday, a client of mine believed that
there is a block and we had, we went through the block.
And the block was just blocks and we turned the blocks into
Legos and then we turned the Legos into different colors
that it became colorful and playful and then she started
taking the blocks of Legos out and guess what, it became play.
So everything has a way to help you become
stronger and protect you and we can turn those into
playfulness to fear, easier for you to move
forward and live a healthier and happier life.
The power is within you. All I do is guide you to heal both men.
So let’s explore how I can be of assistance and how through hypnotherapy we
can unravel and help you heal or discover, reconnect, renew and re-breathe.
So, because you’re no longer going to hold onto us. So, if those
words were wounded you, now those words can be powerful for you.
Until next time, I wish you all the best, stand
up, show up in life and it’s good for you to speak.
Find the words that empower you and so that you can with one word empower others.
Until next week, God bless you and made a universal light surround you always.
Bye bye.
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